Humour

Chief Justice Chandrachud: A journey through poems (Bullish beginning)

A curated collection of the very best of Master of Verse Raju Z. Moray on Master of the Roster Justice D.Y. Chandrachud. 

The Leaflet

Part 1 of a curated collection of the very best of Master of Verse Raju Z. Moray on Master of the Roster Justice D.Y. Chandrachud. 

THE judge and the poet— they share a unique connection. The judge sets the limits of language and the poet tests those limits.

Here is an exclusive compilation of select poems by Master of Verse Raju Z. Moray published in The Leaflet concerning Master of the Roster Justice D.Y. Chandrachud.

These poems nestle a poetic history of the tenure of the 50th Chief Justice of India (CJI), from the high hopes of his initial days to the many diversions, deviations and disappointments.

***

On November 9, 2022, Justice D.Y. Chandrachud was sworn in as the CJI. Suave, articulate and well-educated, there were expectations, not in the least because he was going to be the first CJI in a long time who would have a two-year tenure.

Dapper New Chief

(November 09, 2022)

As all the mounting arrears
Bring our judicial system to grief
We have mounting expectations
From our dapper new Chief

Every available senior head
Was ready to say nothing new
Yet every channel and portal
Managed to grab some interview

After all photo-ops and hype
No one seems to find it strange
Life of the law goes on as usual
And nothing seems to change

What can the head of a body do
If the whole body is rotten?
Without unity and continuity
Good initiatives are forgotten

With the pedigree and the flair
And felicity in airing his views
He is a darling of the media
And perfect for headline news

So we have hope from this Chief
How he fares only time will tell
He knows every trick of the trade
All we can do is wish him well…

***

The new CJI was immediately seized of the matter of judicial appointments. An Executive strongly motivated by an idealogy wanted to shape the judiciary a certain way, so it used administrative tactics to delay or deny those it did not like from being appointed as judges.

Impasse

(November 14, 2022)

So many pending names
Willing, recommended, able
Are kept in cold storage
Surely that's unacceptable!

It just can't go on like this
One saying no, the other yes
And then one just sits tight
Watching the resultant mess

Eminent lawyers might bring
Certain gravitas to the bench
Several do get recommended
A thirst for justice to quench

But powers don't co-operate
And submit to collegium's will
The result of this impasse is
Appointments are at standstill

Arrears never wait for anyone
They just continue to mount
Who said what, and to whom
Doesn't matter, will not count

Law Minister is taking potshots
Judges too flex their muscles
There's so much sound and fury
Let's see who wins, who buckles!

***

An interesting part of CJI's Chandrachud's tenure has been the puzzling behaviour of the registry. There were early signs too.

An ordeal

(November 15, 2022)

To get a matter listed on board
Is now an ordeal full of tension
For there is a humongous queue
Only for circulation to mention!

After much pushing, shoving
And getting your arm twisted
If you succeed in mentioning
Your matter may not get listed!

Urgent production of case-papers
The registry's role has increased
For your matter to move smoothly
Every element has to be greased

Sure we all wish for success
But in listing itself we often fail
With many circulations granted
Milords often their board curtail

If your case still doesn't reach
You have no right to ask "Why?"
Just spend a bit more next time
Get your matter positioned high!

Frustrated and angry lawyers
Think this system's deranged
Before they voice a grievance
The assignment has changed!

Assume by sheer luck or chance
Your matter is listed without fuss
Milords may simply smile and say
"It is wrongly listed before us!"

***

Outside the courtroom, the CJI shone with his usual obeisance to lofty ideals.

Fairy tales

(November 27, 2022)

'Constitution Day' has come and gone
And all our worthies had something to say
But soon all the speeches will be forgotten
And we shall trod along the same old way

Prime Minister emphasised "We, the People"
He said that's a "call, a trust and an oath"
But to really bring about a transformation
Till now the system has seemed loath

Law Minister said they're doing everything
To keep relationship with judiciary cordial
Despite the "visionary leadership" he praised
Appointments of milords are an ordeal!

The CJI spoke eloquently when his turn came
Said judges must open minds to multiple views
Question their own prejudices, preconceptions
So that the marginalised are given their dues

The AG felt Government must not overload SC
With cases and statutory appeals without pause
For getting justice any court was good enough
Why convert the SC into a Court of Small Cause?

The best speech was by the President of India
Who linked society's progress to number of jails
Let's close down some existing prisons she said
An authentic expression amidst all the fairy tales!

***

One of the CJI's pet projects was bringing the judiciary up to speed with the latest technology.

Don't burn out

(January 14, 2023)

Among all recent Big Chiefs
This one has the widest reach
Everyday we get to read or see
Excerpts of some nice speech

He wants to go fully digital
Is trying to cover all the bases
But no one had thought that
He'd think of the mental cases

Doing long nights, overworked
Falling prey to financial worry
Lawyers just refuse to go slow
Why are they in such a hurry?

It is time to relax and meditate
Go holistic and not take stress
Technology gives us a medium
To sit at home and work less

Litigants used to seek justice
Now justice seeks them, he says
Yet, entrenched feudal mindsets
Continue their discriminatory ways

Despite the struggles and tensions
Don't burnout, guard mental health
The light at the end of this tunnel
Is success…and that's your wealth!

I know you are quite impressed
We all love our Big Chief my dears
But if everyone starts meditating
Will a robot dispose all the arrears?

***

CJI Chandrachud gave some hope (and others weird vibes) when he said there was no absolute definition of man and woman during the marriage equality petition hearings, but these words proved to be a smokescreen as the judgment ended up asserting that there was no fundamental right to marry for anyone.

Law getting laid

(April 25, 2023)

Is it such a mind-bender
That law has no gender?
This being a sensitive issue,
Milords are being tender.

Tradition supports status quo
Not imported juris et lex
Milords are differing with Powers
When it comes to matters of sex

'Don't focus just on genitals
To decide male and female
We shall lay the law in retail
If you resist the change wholesale.'

Questions posed by Big Chief
Are answered through trolls
Maybe between them and SG
There's some confusion of roles

We the people shall swallow
What media to report is paid
Even if it's not very palatable
We will see the law getting laid!

***

Another topic close to CJI Chandrachud's heart was the plight of young lawyers, from the enrollment fee they had to pay to the salaries they were getting.

Justice on laptops

(May 13, 2023)

Big Chief got livid
At Bar entrance fee
Milords issued notice:
"How can this be?"

The Council said look
We're a growing nation
Please take into account
Changed times, inflation

"Nothing doing" said they
"Thou shall not increase!
So what if they're too little?
These are statutory fees!"

Every State fixes them
At any exorbitant rate
No one has considered
A struggling lawyer's fate

But we are here to help
Ensure that no one is sad
We will grant all a refund
So that they buy an iPad

Let us hail the Big Chief
For social justice sops
Our lives will now be online
And justice on laptops!

***

Almost to the end of his tenure, CJI Chandrachud was known to always be courteous in the courtrooms, treating every senior and junior lawyer with respect.

Gone to the dogs

(September 13, 2023)

The story is not new
But someone has to tell
A stray dog on the street
Bit a supreme counsel

His bandaged hand held
What looked like his brief
This was just enough to
Catch attention of Big Chief

This was more important
Than facts of the matter
The injured hand helped
To instigate much chatter

Do you need a doctor?
It's the least we can do
But first you must tell us
Who did this to you?

Milords it's a menace
A stray dog attacked me
Of the many black coats
Wonder why it tracked me?

The SG rose to proclaim
Something must be done!
It's of national importance
To stop the strays free run

Big Chief said once his clerk
Was attacked,God knows why?
But he still performed duties
Once bitten, twice shy

This led to a big debate
About man's best friend
Some spoke for it's freedom
Others wanted it to end

SG kept getting up and
Interjecting impromptu
"Milords must take this up
And do it soon suo motu!"

Big Chief smiled and rose
System retained its clogs
Some said they understood
Why it has gone to the dogs

***

Every now and then, CJI Chandrachud's attempts to make the judiciary tech-savvy were confronted by the advanced age of the judges, like when the Bombay High Court gave up a hybrid mode of hearing. On such occasions, he was not afraid to crack the whip to ensure iPads and laptops did not fall into disuse.

Going virtual

(October 10, 2023)

Small Chiefs have discovered
A hybrid recipe for elation
Appease tech-savvy Big Chief
And dream of expedited elevation!

If one can't use computers
One cannot hope to be a judge
That's Big Chief's stated position
And he ain't gonna budge!

Do not try to procrastinate
Or draw your own inference
He shall brook no excuses
Unless made in a video conference!

Why not consider advantages?
The benefits of going virtual?
Everything will be paperless
Just the cost and fees will be real!

It's being practised at the top
Why can't it be done down below?
Big Milords show supreme speed
Small milords have been slow.

All HCs now have just two weeks
To implement, report, reply
No one knows what will happen
If some lazy milords don't comply.

Technology is taking over
Better to join AI's growing tribe
Let's elevate robots and ensure
That we obliterate the word 'bribe'!

***

As CJI, Justice Chandrachud had a love affair with the media. The court under him took a confusing and illiberal turn, but outside the courtroom, he was always ready for a byte or two about progressive ideas, for example when he inaugurated a cafe run by differently-abled persons in the Supreme Court complex.

Something to Inaugurate 

(November 09, 2023)

Those who say we have
Too much on our plate
Still find enough time if there's
Something to inaugurate!

Like an outreach programme
It's always a great photo-op
For those who love the camera
And are right at the top
To do justice anywhere
The Big Boss must be seen
Even if it's just samosas
He's consuming in a canteen

No platform is too small
To feed platitudes to people
Speeches too are predictable
This diet is quite staple

Why would justice mind
If it's seen to be done
Why only the politicians?
Milords too deserve some fun!

Next: Mutative middle.

Raju Moray writes a regular column for The Leaflet, titled 'Adalat Antics'.

If you love the smell of paper along with spicy satire and the ring of laughter, Raju Moray's new book Tales of Law & Laughter is out now.