Fiction

The lord, the law and I

Armin Wandrewala

A trinity comes together to give justice, but can't decide on a date.

"OH Lord! I beseech you! I pray…!"

"What do you pray for, my child?" came the voice from Above.

"I pray that my matter in court reaches tomorrow, and proceeds, so I can mark my docket and earn some money! No matter of mine has reached for two weeks now, and my income is down in the doldrums!"

"That, my child, is beyond my jurisdiction. Nothing I can do about that."

"Then who can?"

"Only their lordships! Or ladyships, as the case may be…"

***

"What? Matter did not reach again, today?" almost shouted the client into my phone.

"But we have been part-heard two months ago, and since the first hearing, the matter has either not reached, or not proceeded with! Either the opponent is sick, or the judge has no time, or papers are not found," vented the agitated client.

"What? Matter did not reach again, today?" almost shouted the client into my phone.

"You said we would definitely reach! We were effectively third on board, you said!"

"Well," I tried to sound as reasonable as I could, "When the board came last night, at 9 p.m., I checked myself, not relying on the clerk. The first three matters on board were kept at 2.30 p.m.; the fourth matter was kept at 12.30 pm; we, being the seventh matter on board, were effectively third on board, in the morning session, and expectedly bound to reach!"

"But we didn't!" almost wailed the client.

"I can only predict, I cannot ensure," I said in my defence.

Also read: Sardarji

"I am neither the Lord, nor his lordship! What happened was," I went on, eager to explain the inexplicable, "At 10.30 a.m., someone mentioned a very urgent matter. His client's house was being demolished by the Bombay Municipal Corporation (BMC) without notice, he needed an immediate stay Order! The judge took up that matter when the board started, one hour after all the mentioning was over, at 11.30 a.m.

"That matter went on for an hour, by which time it was 12.30 p.m., and the matter fixed at 12.30 p.m. was called out, which went on for an hour till lunchtime, 1.30 p.m, and is still part heard. His lordship has kept that matter, also part-heard, after three weeks, again at 12.30 p.m.

"At 2.30 p.m., his lordship discharged the rest of the board, saying that the fixed matters would go on for the entire afternoon. Out of the three matters at 2.30 p.m., only one reached, which too is part heard, kept after two weeks at 2.30 p.m."

I did not tell the client about my conversation with a friend in the Bar room, where I went for a much-needed coffee. "Why looking so tired? Heavy matter?" My friend had asked.

"Oh yes, very heavy," I had answered wearily. "Waited the whole morning for the matter effectively third on board to reach, never did! Tired out! Actual arguing is a breeze! It's all this waiting and uncertainty that gets me down."

"If the waiting and uncertainty get you down, time for you to start thinking of leaving the profession," said my friend unsympathetically. "That, after all, is the story of all our lives! Litigants think lawyers want delays, not realising how taxing the delays are on us, too!"

***

"So what now?" asked the client, sounding worried. "When will my matter come up again? Next week?"

"Oh no! That I can assure you!" I replied, glad to be able to give some assurance. "Your matter will not be listed now for a couple of months, unless we mention it again and request his lordship to take it up, since we are part-heard, and you, the litigant, are a very senior citizen, 89 years of age!

"I will send my junior in the morning at 10 a.m. to stand in the line for mentioning, as by 10.30 a.m., the line will have snaked its way out of the courtroom, and I will have to waste maybe a whole hour, just to mention!"

***

At night, I approached the Lord Above again, "Lord, will I get an early date for my client tomorrow?"

"Not my jurisdiction. Probably not in the hands of his lordship, either."

"So what now?" asked the client, sounding worried. "When will my matter come up again? Next week?"

"Then in whose hands, Lord?"

"Probably the court master's," ventured the Lord, Himself sounding none too sure.

The next day, I spent an hour in the mentioning line anyway, since by now everyone had caught on to what was happening, and had started sending their juniors by 9.30 a.m. to stand in the queue.

When my junior reached the courtroom at 10 a.m., the line was almost at the door, and by 10.30 a.m., it was out of the door so the door had to be left open, affecting the functioning of the air conditioning, making the lawyers and litigants inside the courtroom sweat even more.

"If you please, milor'," I began nervously when it finally was my turn to mention, "This matter is part-heard, milor'…"

"Do you know how many part-heard matters I have on hand?" Cut in his lordship.

"Errr … nnno, milor'."

"Eleven!" snapped milor'.

"Ummm … yes, milor'. May I have this matter next week, please, milor'?" I rushed my fences in my eagerness to get the matter listed.

"Do you know my assignment?" thundered his lordship, going on to answer his own question. "Of course you do! The whole Bar does! Monday mornings, I have intellectual property matters, with criminal bail applications in the afternoons; Tuesday mornings are for admiralty, afternoons for insolvency; Wednesdays I have partition and administration suits, Thursdays testamentary, Fridays arbitration, all sections of the Act: Sections 9, 11, 34, the works! Yours is testamentary."

Also read: Tomorrow

His lordship knock-knocked his pen for the associate— the court master. He conferred with him in whispers, then nodded. "All right! Give madam a date on a Thursday after three weeks."

"But milor'," my client's plight emboldened me to protest. "We really do need an earlier date! My client is a very, very senior citizen."

"So complain to the government," his lordship said sarcastically. "Get them to appoint more judges."

"The Bar is under the impression, milor', that there aren't enough chambers and courtrooms in this building for more judges! Now that the foundation stone for the new court building has been laid…"

"Don't think," cut in his lordship again. "Not in these matters," he added more equably.

"Foundation stone may be laid, but the foundation isn't," cut in his lordship again.

"Errr … I was thinking," I ventured hesitantly.

"Don't think," cut in his lordship again. "Not in these matters," he added more equably.

"Errr … maybe the construction of the new court can start expeditiously? If the judiciary is aware … with the greatest respect, milor'…? If your lordship knows?" I rushed my fences again: "When will we have a new court? When will the government appoint more judges? When will matters reach in a reasonable time?" 

"That, madam, the Lord Above may know!" shrugged his lordship.

"I don't."