Ho Ho Ho…
Winter break is upon us and I can already hear the jingles of a culture learned from American cinema. Flocks of penguins are all set to scatter like migratory birds—propelled by credit card points. We're all chasing the standard of cool set by Javed Akhtar’s children. He, meanwhile, is still busy debating God with the pundits. (I mean, what's even the point when we all know the eternal truth—money. But more on that in another column.)
Back to the Akhtar kids. They landed in India some years ago, now bent on teaching us what the good life is. They relish moving the goalposts of a good vacation—one movie at a time. It started with Goa, then it was Spain, and before we could get our slice of the Tomatina, they changed the definition of cool to slumming it with rappers from Chembur. My Slumdog vacation will have to wait. I'm yet to catch up. Bhaag Abiha Bhaag!
Summer was Europe—did you not see the Amalfi Coast reels and Santorini sunsets? Money well spent! Some (voices in my head) say it came out as an ugly display of I-finally-made-it validation. But I don't care for introspection too much—it's a short life and I've crossed over to the wrong side.
Winter, by the way, is Southeast Asia. I don't make the rules, people! Just go for it—Bali villas, Krabi beaches, Hanoi street food tours. All the places cheaper, none less crowded with Indians. You want to see white people? Try Landour. The colonizers built our hill stations a certain way so they could keep coming back and still feel at home. But they may have to get used to the golden voice of GOAT Diljit on the woofers.
Panic Mentionings
The Supreme Court turns medieval. Mention an urgent matter and discover the unwritten law: death row, imminent demolition, rape-murder combo pack, or go home. Nothing else crosses "this side of the vacation"—that telling phrase. "But my lords may please appreciate that post-vacation my plea becomes infructuous—new session will begin and these students will have nowhere to go," pleads some lawyer with immense passion for her client's cause. "Top of board—after vacation," comes the relief. The cherry on top—all coercive action subject to final outcome, of course. Not bad!
Courts are holding "partial working days" as we speak. It's not a full house. The cause lists are anemic. The benches are mostly empty. But some of us are showing up for our BGs. Working during vacation yaar—another validation pat!
Some controversies are alive in the apex court—some rape convict and his almost-suspended sentence, some hills under threat of demolition. Word play at it again.
Court vacations in Bombay, by the way, make zero sense. Delhi has fog, cold—genuine atmospheric collapse. Bombay has pleasant winter, sea breeze, and perfect working weather. But they go on break anyway. Competition. First it was vacation schedules, now it's pollution rankings. I'm just saying, if courts close during different months—I may have a fighting chance at practicing in different courts. Pardon the ugly head of ambition. Hunger never satiates—learning on the job!
Happiness Wala Myth
Juniors stay behind while seniors fly out. Someone has to answer phones, someone has to pretend chambers exist. I'm selling it as the grand mentorship program. Character building. The same seniors who hated this as juniors now enforce it with pedagogical conviction. Tradition, we call it. Paying dues. The juniors smile, stay late, update LinkedIn.
Nobody's happy anyway. Seniors stress about their trips—the Instagram optics, the right restaurants, proof of success. Juniors are warped in thoughts: ‘Apna time aayega’. Clients stress because their cases won't move for two weeks. Judges stress because reopening means chaos. But we're all on vacation, so we're all fine.
Reopening
January becomes the fantasy month, the mythical future where everything happens. "We'll take it up in January." We're already running out of January—in December. Every deferred matter, every promised hearing, every urgent application will land there. The math won't work. We'll see.
Family is already making plans for the long Republic Day weekend. It's giving me anxiety—I know once courts reopen there will be blood. Judges will return—some tanned, some tired, none rested. We'll all together face the accumulated disaster with diminishing patience.
Mr. Outspoken from the ministry is dissing breaks. Can you blame him? But it's not what he said—it's how he said it!
Ms. Reformer in the opinion piece is suggesting reform. Shorter vacations with staggered schedules, year-round functioning.
The suggestions are being implemented as we speak—working Saturday mubarak ho!
In Defence of the Status Quo
Vacation is not a break from the system—it is the system. This is the design, not the flaw. The pause that proves the machine exists. Without it we would have to admit how much of the regular calendar is already dysfunctional.
Come on already. Let's not get negative this new year. This is how the world works. The lawyers will travel. The files will wait. Justice takes its annual breath—shallow, insincere, and expected by everyone.
Merry Christmas everyone!