Notary-ious

THERE is an epidemic of notaries now in our city. They or their agents are here, there and everywhere. You cannot escape them. They set up shop at every nook and corner in the bylanes near all courts.

One can find them rubbing shoulders with everyone who has a shanty or shack near the courts. Bhelpuriwalas, juicewalas, meduwada wallas, panwallas … all have their very own 'NOTARY AVAILABLE' sign. A newcomer may wonder if this is some new dish.

They promise service '24×7'. Banners and posters are plastered everywhere. And there is cut-throat competition because there are so many of them around.

In one such lane near the Bombay High Court, I bumped into a friend who is a Chartered Accountant (CA). We moved to one side of that footpath-less lane to exchange pleasantries. To avoid the vehicles we shifted into a little space between a cobbler and a newspaper vendor plying their trade on part of the public street.

My friend asked me if I knew some notaries. He wanted a document attested. His son needed it urgently in the US.

I could see that it was some sort of a declaration he was carrying, printed and signed already. All he needed was for it to be notarised. I asked him who the deponent was. He said the deponent was his son who was abroad!

I replied: "Then that may be difficult."

As if on cue, both the cobbler and the newspaper vendor who were intently tuned into our conversation said: "Ho jayega sahab."

Then they quoted the fees of their respective notaries and started their sales pitch for their candidates.

As I was getting late for my local train, I excused myself and left the CA 'customer' to haggle with the 'salesmen'.

But I was curious to know whether my friend's job had been done to his satisfaction. I phoned him the next day and asked if all had gone well.

He said he was very impressed with the service he had got. He said even his son in the US said that what he had managed to get done just for 2,000 bucks in India would have been impossible even in an advanced country like the US.

My CA friend: "The best thing is that for the right price, everything is possible. They arrange for a lawyer to identify the absent person, even get someone to sign their register as that person.

"And they put their seal of authentication on a declaration certifying that they have checked the originals when all they have perused are photocopies!"

My friend said he had preserved the notary's impressive-looking card for future reference. That notary even promised my friend a referral fee for referring such 'complicated cases' which these notaries sorted out with simple solutions.

I was reminded of a case where a notary had ended up with his licence revoked for affirming an affidavit of a person, making an entry in his register and even filing an affidavit solemnly affirming the deponent's presence before him a good two years after that gentleman had left for his heavenly abode.

But no one turned up to depose before the cops in that case and after a year or so of making no headway (the original ledger had in the meantime mysteriously disappeared from police custody), the case was closed. The notary then went on the offensive, alleged victimisation, went to court and got his licence as notary back!

Now he was not just a notary but notorious too. Did that case harm his reputation? No sir, it enhanced it. Those who wanted to indulge in hanky-panky started thronging on him. The straightforward ones sat twiddling their thumbs.

During my junior days, there were fewer notaries. Some sat in the Bar room and plied their trade but as their tribe increased they started sitting in corridors outside Bar rooms and this became a nuisance. After some time they were asked to clear out.

Then came the phase of the Maruti van. The notaries purchased old vans and converted them into portable workplaces. These vans were all parked in parking lots around various courts making it very convenient for advocates and the general public to avail of their services.

We all had our favourite notary. The best was an old retired lawyer who virtually lived in his Maruti van. His van was the first to arrive and the last to leave the precinct of the high court.

From 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., he was always available. He attested documents for free when poor persons or students came to him. He never asked for any fixed sum.

His favourite sentence was: "Whatever you think I should get, you understand and give." He had many clients who, like him, came from a farming background. He took his time chatting with them and even explaining what they were signing.

Every day these rural clients who used to travel long distances by buses or trains for their cases got some farm produce for this kind-hearted notary who had not charged them on the previous occasion.

When I used to stop by his van for a chat after court hours, I could see that his van had an assortment of vegetables and provisions such as rice and wheat, all gifted by those he would not charge.

Once, the van was stacked with eggs! But the best incident I recall was when he was gifted a large live rooster by a particularly happy client!

The kind-hearted notary asked his assistant to untie the rooster's legs and secure just one leg with a rope like a leash with the other end firmly tied to a door handle of the van.

The assistant had used the red tape we use for tying court briefs to tie the frisky rooster. This gave the rooster enough freedom to flutter around and affix his own seals beside the notary's stamp on a document. Though the rooster's contribution was quickly wiped off with eau de cologne, it left its mark, albeit faint, in the court records.

That was really a day to remember.

Payment by barter had continued but from that day payment by livestock was discouraged.

These old notaries slowly faded away and, with them, that era has ended. There are hardly any altruistic notaries in business now.

What we find now are touts and agents 'interning' with notaries! A lawyer who had to use a sulabh sauchalaya in an emergency reported that even the guy at the counter collecting payment in coins was an 'agent' of a notary and pushed his visiting card to customers along with their change.

There is no place left near the courts for notaries but the state government is on a licence-granting spree. It is a good source of revenue for them. The new babus believe in reasonable rates for appointing notaries and profit hugely from the large turnover.

As a result, many briefless black coats have found this to be a most respectable avenue to 'serve' the public and earn their livelihood.

Every day on the way to my office and back I cross dozens of agents of notaries sitting on stools and braving the Sun under folding umbrellas with briefcases on their laps ready to put their seal on anything for a price.

Since there are too many notaries near courts some have decided to relocate outside the many tribunals which the system keeps throwing up now and then, ostensibly to reduce the burden on the regular courts.

The day is not far when one will find notaries lining the lanes leading to hospitals and cremation grounds. What could be a more convenient location to take thumb impressions of dying or dead persons?

Read more Antics from the Adalat here.

If you love the smell of paper along with spicy satire and the ring of laughter, Raju Moray's new book Tales of Law & Laughter is out now.